Wednesday, October 29, 2008

"...but I'm not complaining."


So, I have recently moved from the comfort of my own room in a house that smells good, in a town I grew up in, with people that know me to a a town I had never been to, in a dorm room with smelly bathrooms, two roommates, and 3,000 other college kids who have no idea who I am. Fun? It's turning out to be :). But, I definitely didn't think so at first. Being a person who needs quiet solitude often, living with 8 suite mates (not the quietest girls I know :P) and two hundred other girls has proved to be one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. Now, I am not the most optimistic person you'll meet but this last year, God really taught me how to be thankful and think positively, even in tough situations. But, talk about being submerged head first! Never have I endured a change of pace, of life, and of personality like I have this last month and a half. Looking back even now I know there is no way I did it on my own. With this change came the oppressing hand of Satan using every situation possible to get me down. Irritability has become a constant battle, complaining has filled my thoughts daily, and the abundant love we are called to give is truly being tested. God convicted me two days ago when Rev. Jim Lo (Umfumdisi) spoke about complaining; how complaining is our way of saying that we deserve more. Guys, when we complain, we miss something! We miss all the glorious beauty and opportunities to praise God that surround us. I have been missing it. My unequaled selfishness and complaining have blinded me, barricaded me from being able to be thankful for all God is and has done for me. Just the fact He loves me, that He is enough, should suffice my complaints. I still struggle despite the this amazing truth; even as I was writing this I had to put my headphones in to calm the irritability that often accompanies two talkative roommates (and that I am sure I cause for them as well). But, I am beyond blessed: I have a bed to sleep in, two of the sweetest girls to live with, a Christ-centered campus to live on, and a Savior that gave his life to save mine. Despite how well I know this or how much I believe it, I still struggle and will continue to struggle with being a fallen human. After I felt God speaking to me about how much I have been complaining, I have still constantly caught myself doing it, so I stick, "...but I'm not complaining" at the end. So, I have not been immediately purged of my tendency to complain but, because Christ has taken my burden I can live in victory over the times I do fall. Psalm 92:1, 4 says, "It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to the Most High...You thrill me, LORD, with all you have done for me!/ I sing praises for joy because of what you have done." So, may we remember to be thankful even in the tough situations, because it could always be worse and this is the moment we have. So, what are we going to do with it?

1 comment:

Jerolyn Bogear said...

Great post and thoughts, Haley. You are a really good writer. Thanks for sharing your heart. J